Saturday, June 25, 2011

thank you work related stress

I assume that's what this is...  It started back in September... first I had some medical tests done and my concentration for the Sept RR disipated and I did not compete...  I had lots of help in the mental game to convince me not to do it.  Soon after that one co-worker dropped out of the mix.  In an effort to keep things moving forward without problems - some tasks were added to the mix to keep things on an even keel...  That made for a stressful October...  November another co-worker took themselves out of the mix.  It wasnt that the work at that point was beyond reasonable.  It's just that any other time was spent doing that.  Stress levels were high, bad decisions ensued.  Working out fell by the wayside.  Eating healthy became too much work.  Beer or wine after work seemed like a good way to blow off steam.  That lasted through the holidays where food and distraction is already at an all time high.  With the onset of the new year and everyone wanting to hear more about what we do - the road trips started.  Monthly trips out of town - you think you can master all that there is to keep a handle on - but again it is hard when you are on the road to make the right decision.  Driving after hours for 4 hours - you dont say "hey, let me stop off at this grocery store at this random exit off the highway and buy something healthy"  you say - not too usre exactly where i am and to be safe I think I will just grab some processed fried chicken or beef sandwich in a drive through and since it's easy I think I will get those fries on the side"  Lunches at your destination and dinners could be a little healthier but the salt content in most of those foods is through the roof...  And it all continues to build up.
When you do get home - there is no food in the fridge, there is a suitcase of dirty clothes just waiting for the laundry, a dog that wants attention, and a house & garden that could use a once over and still no food in the fridge... the propsect of going to the supermarket and buying something healthy to grill up for a meal just seems exhausting at that point... so you opt for a frozen meal - usually a pizza that is supposed to feed 4 but somehow you manage to most of it...  and the cycle continues...
one year later - or at least one year since the last RR - you find yousef 10 pounds heavier - when all along you wanted to be 10 pounds lighter this time around...  and now it is only 17 days away....
you dont look at the times from the last race - you dont want to burden your 10+ self with that thought... you just plod along and try to do get through the training so finishing is an option...
and then you realise - if all remains the same - those next 17 days will actually entail NO travel!  and the next time you are currently scheduled to sleep in a hotel is at the Adare Manor in Ireland...
and there, the motivation tries to kick back in...
17 days 'til race day - probably NOT going to drop those 10 pounds but you can make some headway in that direction... and 10 weeks to Ireland - you could probably make some headway there as well...
so the concerted effort begins - let's hope that the world keeps a distance and does not try to dissuade me..

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