i dont want to change

i have a co-worker that grew up in a family of boys with a dad that coached (seiously coached) as a profession...  i dont feel intimidated by her but i know she was one of those girls in gym class that excelled and got it...  you know the team competition vying for the ball thing... i was and still am the gymnastics girl... smooth lines, graces, strength...
so when she said yesterday - i dont think i could do a triathlon.  i dont know how i feel about that having to change bit - it brought a smile to my face
so many people really think that you change clothes in the midst of a triathlon
i never thought about it before - i dont know what my original concept was - maybe i thought people changed too but i dont recall...
that whole concept of getting wet and staying wet while cycling and even running does not bode well with others...
speaking of wet - have to get back in the water tonight
i had a mental detour last night...  hated that i did but it worked out OK for me in the end
it was nice to sit in front of the tele with a cup of tea and do some work on the home computer.. felt oddly relaxing and productive all at the same time...
as for the tea thing - i had gotten into a habit of wine every so often in the evenings while on the couch...  and i must admit the habit and history kind of started screaming in my face...  decided i needed to regroup on that after work stress habit - dont want the wrong ones grabbing hold and becoming more -- nothing should be that stressful to derail me that much

OK speaking of stress -- off to the car dealer for an unexpected car service

weather dilmena

it may be raining on sunday race day...  personally i have this stance of not riding my bike on the road in the rain... there is no need to put yourself out there in bad weather...
feeling kind of wimpy with that stance...
but i am a triathlon hobbyest or some other term i have yet to create..
well will just focus on the training and let's hope the weather plays fair.

Another small workout day

I covered 30 minutes on the bike with jumping jack intervals. It is a crazy way to get the heart rate up.
I then trekked over to the lake house and did 800 yards in the pool.
Today still trying to pace my swim time for Sunday so I know my starting position.
I vacuumed. I finished making that soup. Made some bread to go along with it.
Watched some tele with the dog.
Googled random Robbie Williams videos.
And now am listening to the teaming down rain outside procrastinating on turning out the lights to go to sleep.

I need to do it all over again tomorrow somehow.
Ideally it would be a run bike in the morning and a swim at night.
We will see if that happens.

Bike. Swim

This years weather is so different than the previous years.  I have yet to get out on the road to ride.  Glad i have the trainer.  But really would like to get out there.  Covered 50 minutes today.  That should be close to 10 miles.
I also swam 800 yards.  I needed to vet in the water to time my pace.  It is about the same as always 2:10 to 2:20...  that shohld be OK for nwxt weeks race.
No running.  The stomach and I are still at odds.
I napped a good part of the afternoon.  Then made some homemade ginger carrot soup with a hint if orange.  (My neighbor gave me a produce care package yesterday - odd but useful)
Gonna do my best to get to mass in the morning and then off to train some more and make some headway around here.
Shoot it really does look like I have been on the road fir 3 weeks.

in the world of firsts...

i woke up yesterday in a miserable state... going to blame it on the scallops and shrimp i had for dinner the night before..  it could just be week three of travel taking its toll...
i suck down some breakfast at the hotel - scrambled eggs, bacon, fruit, muffin, coffee, oj... 
still feeling a bit out of it as i head to the airport - a really nasty feeling i must say
get through all that is the airport and grab myself a mango smoothie - the concept sounds appealing at the time - mango, peaches, ginger, vanilla yogurt...  it tasted wonderful
as usual, i hit the seat on the plane and go to sleep for a few minutes - gonna guess 30 or so...
i feel better after the nap
and then out of all things - the flight pattern starts to take a toll on me...  this is not something that normally gets to me...  sure, i am not a fan of being below deck on boats and the occassional car ride can get to me but never on an airplane
the mountains below, the horizon in the distance, the hard left turn as if we have to go east now that we have spent so much time going south...  but i am ok
and then there is the approach - and at this time i just want to be on the ground... and from the looks of things we are circling some - oh there is carowinds below us - not far now..
and then we get it - additional turbulence --- and i am done
i forewarn the poor woman sitting next to me that i dont feel well... she says the turbulence is getting to her too - not sure if i needed to hear that
but whatever the case - that smoothie did not want to stay down
thank goodness it was just a smoothie...
i have never had anything like that happen to me before - i sure hope it is not a new found motion sickness - that would SUCK!
i think my stomach was just sour... as it is still pretty iffy at the moment
i ended up coming straight home instead of going to the office...  i worked on getting some food into my system and then i did some work
watched some Vampire Diaries and off to bed I went
today is the last weekend before the race - i am now trying to motivate to get some activity in.. not sure a run is going to go anywhere...
swimming at 930

Oh hello

Been so busy working training has been minimal.  Time to comment on training even worse.

Havent been swimming much.  Next week will be all about the swim to get my head in the game.  Depending on water temps the outdoor swim may be moved indoors.

The bike is still on the trainer.  I had one day od outdoor cycling and the temps dropped again.  It does allow for me to ride more frequently but miss the open road.

Oh on that note the neighbors girlfriend was trying out a new bike yesterday.  I must admit I was jealous.  Of the bike that is.  The fact that he stood in the driveway drinking a beer watching her shocked me.  I am beginning to think he actuallu doesnt like cycling.

The running has been OK.  Did a run for Boston last night.  Way too much pollen in the air.  I am still dealing with a fur ball of phlegm.  Will do treadmill walking whilr away this week.

Quiet

Yes, I have been quiet for a while. There have been things going on that distract me. Gosh how much to talk about...
So remember the saddle sores? Well they just weren't going away. I eventually went to the doctor. Oh and they tested them for all things nasty in that region. Things I never thought about before - yes, here we go way too much information - genital warts (that would be that HPV virus they talk about and there is a vaccine for) do not get sucked in to the Internet at looking at these things... Symphysis? Really? I mean I know I was in the presence of Jonathan Rhys Myers costumes from The Tudors when in Dublin but... Herpes! Could this not just be from something due to working out too much? Why do we have to go here?!? And then you start beating yourself up. And sadly if any of these were the case there would be only one reason and that just made me even more distracted. Fuming mad maybe. Errr....
Ultimately they decided on a fungal infection. Goodness the need to eliminate the big stuff continues to drive me nearly insane. So some mix of cream prescription later... No improvement. Boo hoo...
Off to the dermatologist I go. And the diagnosis - molloscum. WHAT? WTH is that? A skin virus. Common in kids. Not as much with adults. It will eventually cure itself. But given the location let's rule out the big stuff! Really? Biopsy. Blood work. Ugh!
Well biopsy confirmed diagnosis. Blood work confirmed my immune system / natural defense mechanisms are all working OK. So off we go to the scraping procedure. Who knew this was a medical option.
This has all been way too much for my brain to handle and process and let go. Well I should add -- that the tests did not turn around all that quickly. Actually just talking about it because 3 weeks later I am finally getting the blood work results.. Stress! And the biopsy... Those results went - if it's not what we suspect we will let you know; if it is we will just proceed as planned... Today's healthcare does very little to alleviate any nerves.
So last week I went in for them to scrape the virus off/out of my skin. Supposedly it is so topical your body doesn't recognize it to fight it. Eventually it will go away but unlike blood born viruses your body won't fight it for some time. So they disturb the skin to remove it and prompt the body to fight it. lOvElY! Do you want to know more...
Well there is a topical numbing cream. This is to prepare for the numbing shots! WHoA! Did not expect that. The procedure itself was nothing in comparison. The doctor put on some music. First up Queen and Bohemian Rhapsody.. Which gave me an opportunity to talk about one of my favorite topics - KEANE! If you have never googled Tom Chaplin Queen covers go do it NOW! A wonderful use of time. My dermatologist had never heard of Keane... My work is done here!
Wednesday I spent the rest of the day doing laundry and vacuuming - yup the numbing was wonderful.
Thursday a prescribed rest day... Wow thought I was slowly going insane. I just couldn't sit around and do nothing. And the pain had kicked in. By lunch time I found my savior - Homeland Season One -- oh thank goodness... It was a wonderful distraction; laid in bed just watching episode after episode. Pretty much Friday was the same.
I did get out for a 2 mile walk and run. It felt good.
Saturday was close to normal.
And Sunday was nice. I got out of bed early, went to church, cooked for Easter... It all came together well.
Now just to concentrate on the rest of the recovery and hope they got it all.
tRIATHloN in a month!

Conniving?

Now, now... That is not a nice term to call your first love. Maybe you just misinterpreted her big brown puppy dog eyes... I am sure that's all that is.

Great pics. Would have liked some of them.

Funny the memories they bring back.

We continue - ok not me the other guy - just continues to pee everywhere at this end. Hope to keep it in reason next Sunday as I host Easter dinner.

Training is at a minimum.

IRISH BEEF & GUINNESS STEW

Remains of last nights dinner.  I should post my recipe too as it came out quite lovely.  And since I didnt follow a recipe probably should document what I did.

Dont think yesterdays 3 mile run did much to offset these calories.

Shamrock Results

So last years time was 52:38
This year I came in at 52:23

A whole 15 second improvement.
The biggest improvement or shock is that I barely trained for this year. 

first outdoor ride of 2013

hmmmmmmm
:)

Most improved?

Kudos to you.

Mine would be more like Surprised She Got Back in the Water.

Health may be getting in the way of my training... physically and mentally.  Although they said I will be fine come race day...  just not sure how the training will go

This weeks menu

I have created a habit with meal times. I plan my menu for the week on Sunday. And to keep it simple (reduced stress) I don't vary my menu much from day to day. I plan Minday through Thursday. I know on Friday morning I weigh in for WW and that day gets a splurge of sorts. Usually that means a sandwich from the grocery store.
So this weeks menu starts with
Decaf Starbucks Kcups black... This is a continuation of last years detox quest. The suggestion to reduce dairy intake for a few weeks as well as caffeine. The decaf coffee was a good transition. Sure I drink the occasional caf in coffee or soda but my mornings are mainly decaf. The black aspect . I don't mind it black. In all honesty I rather enjoy getting my milk as a glass of milk not hidden in a cup of coffee. It would also help if I actually had some milk in the house.
I have also pulled together some non fat plain Greek yogurt which could really pretend to be sour cream. I am mixing that with strawberries, cinnamon, vanilla and spinach. Yes I threw that last one in there for shock value. It is one of those veggies I could eat all the time. Put it in anything. So I have some still in the fridge... So there it went.
Lunch is the mix of veg I posted earlier. I have another pic I should post.
I think I will need to get some apples to have along with it. For the crunch factor. I was thinking some Wasa with it would be good as well.
Dinner.... Hold on to your hats... There is not much left in the fridge in the realm of dinner. I have eggs and imagine this - spinach. And tomatoes. I am actually looking forward to that. I also have a jar of pickled herring. Yes, that's the hold on to your hats part. It is a healthy fish that I try to eat every once in a while. It has been in there for a while. So this week needs to be the week. And there are some other veg in the freezer.
So pretty much I just need to go to the grocer for apples. Oh and a snack for the Oscar Red Carpet event this afternoon. I will not be dressing in all my finery but surely going to comment on everyone else's look.

Sticking with veg

This morning from the test kitchen we are using up all remaining veg that is in the fridge.
Starting with a tomato sauce with the left over mushrooms, onion, pepper and crushed basil tomatoes.
Tossed in will be spaghetti squash, spinach slivers and remnant kale.  Along with some protein packed lentils.
This will be lunch this week.

Simple pleasures

I just noticed that my cleaning lady set the wine glasses out on my table with the other pimpernel decor.  It made me smile.
I should get back into the habit of sitting at the table for my meals.

Crafty

I bought some items to make a crafty front door ornament for the day.  As you can see it is still in pieces on the floor. 

Tonight is all about taxes.

TMI...

This will surely continue to gross out or entertain readers...
So I went to the doctor since the saddle sore thing was not resolving itself.  My friends did a good job of getting in my head that it was something bigger.  Thank you for prompting all those hours of looking up stuff on the internet for STDs.  That was loads of fun.  But it got me concerned enough that I did go to the doctor.  Now this wasnt my normal doctor... but I have seen her before for sinus infections and urinary tract infections so I was going to be quite OK with seeing her for this.  Unlike my doctor she is not aware of this new realm of physical fitness for me.  So she was pretty straight forward on the STD route.  Gotta love that. 
She did mention in passing that perhaps it was fungal.  Look that up and you will find that fungal infections are generally referred to as jock itch.  Does that mean I have finally arrived?  I can now seriously consider myself an athlete?  Maybe, maybe not.  It can also be yeast born.  LOVELY.
So when all the other tests - thankfully - came in negative... we start the fungal route.
My patience has just work thin.  This has gotten to me worse than that bed bug scare/obsession.
Why am I out here talking about this?  Not sure.  Probably to clear my head.  To document where things are with this today.  To purge. 
And maybe because I dont have any patience for any of this to run its course.
I did not work out last night as a celebration of the test results.  I am not working out tonight as I have a mental block from getting up off the couch as I obsess about - well what is this?  What if it doesnt clear up?  All that stuff.
Thankfully it is all more mentally disturbing than physically disturbing.
And I wouldnt be surprised if it is yeast/fungal.  My body has done the yeast thing in the past with little knowledge on my part.  That was diagnosed and treated that to an alert doctor.
So we will go with this.  And try to let it go for a while.
Maybe I should try some peace inducing yoga.

Positive thinking

So yesterday was one of those day... No, the positive outlook did not falter... It was more a moment of introspection of life.  I get accusations from a friend that my positive outlook is just a front.  That I am just faking.  And that someday it will all come tumbling down around me.  Nice, eh?
I feel for that person.  In my moments of introspection I do have bits and pieces in my life that are sad.  But over the years I have learned to grow from those experiences rather than dwell on them and fester and mope.  And I am thankful for that skill.  I am thankful for finding that silver lining glass half full.  I am not fooling myself.  I am not pretending.  I have worked hard for happy.  And am glad to have found that.
thanks for listening....

Happy 39th Birthday

Mr. Williams...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzHIxigdlgQ&feature=player_detailpage

I couldnt decide old song, new song, in between song....
this one gets my toe tapping...
OK let's be honest I love listening to all sorts of music and alot of it gets my toe tapping...
Thought for today I would give TRO a break and give RW a listen...

February 2006

In February 2006 I took a business trip to NYC for a client.  To make the most of the trip I took the train to NJ to see my parents.  A storm was steadily approaching.  It was a DFriday night and I sat at their kitchen table calling the airlines to make plans to get out of there.  I wanted to get home.  I had plans in ATL that I didnt want to miss out on.  And so flights were changed and instead of me sticking around for 2 more days with my mom and dad.... my mom drove us to the airport that Saturday so I could get one of the last flights out of the area.
I remember the ride.  I remember the mini van.  I remember my dad sitting in the front passenger seat as we drove up there.  I remember getting out of the van.  I remember talking to him through the passenger window.  He had his big Uncle Jack glasses as I thought of them on and we said goodbye.  Not a forever goodbye but an awkward goodbye.  I remember walking across that sidewalk to get inside the terminal...... dont turn around dont turn around dont turn around... keep walking keep walking keep walking.... I fought back those tears like there was no tomorrow. 
It was one of the last flights to get out on time.  I made it home for Sunday...  And later that week I drove with little issue to ATL and spent a wonderful few days with friends.  I will always recall the aquarium as a highlight even if I was really pissy and whiny that day.
So as others are taking this time of year to mope and whine and cry and sob about being single.... I think about being left behind with only one parent.  I think about that walk into the terminal.  I think about all that has transpired in the past 7 years... and I try to find a way to be thankful... to be grateful....  to not have swollen eyes from crying in the morning....
I approach every day as the glass is half full... I dont know how I got to that point but I have.
I view tomorrow as a clean slate.  As a new beginning.  As another chance to learn and grow.
What will that mean in the end?  Maybe nothing.  But I wont let myself down in the meantime.  And I won't let you down either.

Miss you Daddy.